HAUNT Attraction Tour: Zombie High
Kathleen Chartrand
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We’ve covered morphing pumpkin people, terrifying reaping scarecrows, lurking vampires, and now our most terrifying HAUNT attraction yet; teenagers. Here at Worlds of Fun, we have gone ahead with our programming of teaching zombie students the proper way to scare, which is why they’re housed at Zombie High. Unfortunately, they’re lacking the braaaains to keep up with material, so they’ve been here since the 80s. Hopefully you can help them out while you look at our extensive educational system. After all, one day they’ll graduate from fledgling undead to enter the world of adult scaring, which is the goal of every zombie student.
Like most high schools, we cover the most important subjects for our students to lay a foundation for their future successes. Take a walk through our administrative and nurse’s offices (not in use) to look at our Literature class, where we ask important philosophical questions like: “To be a zombie, or not to be a zombie: that is the question.”
Of course, we can’t lack in Social Studies and Geography, as every zombie needs to know how to traverse our large and sometimes confusing world. Our students enjoy interacting with the maps and globes we have available and take rigorous notes.
Our pride and joy of the school is our extracurriculars: we have a robust music and arts program, where our band, film, and art students spend most of their time. You may be surprised to learn that zombies are incredibly skilled at capturing the form required for an outstanding art piece! They also seem to never run out of red paint. The zombie band can hobble hobble along among the very best, and are certainly one of the most memorable marching bands around.
Now, science is incredibly important for the understanding of zombies and their goal of understanding human anatomy. The way that zombies were created is an incredibly important scientific inquiry that we take very seriously at Cleaver High School. The table of elements, including the element of surprise, is crucial for our curriculum!
We pride ourselves on our extensive menu options for our students, faculty, and staff. Working tirelessly for our school, our cafeteria provides a variety of options fit for any zombie. Brains, intestines, flesh, and finger cakes are all available, with specialty recipes that are loved by all our study body.
Our final showcase for the evening is special. You’ve come at a wonderful time to experience our Homecoming Dance taking place in our gymnasium! Not only area Zombie King and Zombie Queen crowned for the evening, but you can also see our zombie students at their best: having a feast and shambling away to the hottest music we have to offer! Be careful though, when they get riled up, they tend to groan, lurch, and bite! Aren’t they just charming?
We at Cleaver High hope to see you in person at our wonderful school! If they get a shriek out of you, well, that means our programs are working as intended! Don’t worry, they're no worse than any other teenager.